Bzzzzzt Bzzzzzt Bzzzzzt

Jane says that I'm as good as an alarm clock, but she's wrong. An alarm clock doesn't have a tongue, and cannot lick things to determine their tastiness. Therefore, I am superior to an alarm clock.

At 6am every morning, I get thirsty. Why am I up at 6am to know that I'm thirsty? I have to get an early start if I'm going to terrorize Carrot to the fullest extent of my abilities. Anyway, I scratch at the sink stopper in the bathroom to make water appear. Unlike Carrot, I'm not dumb enough to think that the scratching is what produces the water - it's Jane being in the bathroom. The noise wakes her up, and she turns on the faucet so I can get my fresh water.

You may ask why I don't drink the water in the conveniently-located water bowl. To that, I answer: you should be doing a better job of keeping up with my blog.

Jane may find the noise unpleasant, but I have to ask her - would she rather me chew on her hair to wake her up? That's what I thought. Now give me some water.